When Foraging Goes Wrong

Sometimes, when you try to forage for fruits in your neighborhood, things don't go as you would hope.

This would be the dark side of foraging.

Who knew there could be such a thing?

I spied an apple tree throwing fruit all over someone's yard about a block away from me. So I stopped by on my way back from Starbucks.

I pull up to the house and at first glance I think: serial killer compound. Like, not just one serial killer, but possibly a whole serial killer collective. Where they exchange recipes for liver and learn how to cut limbs off and store them.

Uh, no.

So we drove away (after locking the doors) and ventured to another, immaculately kept, home that had fruit trees ringing the entire property.

I should have known it would be trouble - too well kept. Chickens in a perfect coop (but I finally found the source of the rooster crowing all day!) Fruit trees, veggie beds, absolutely beautiful dahlia garden. They even had an aquaponic system set up for fish harvesting. Which, while seriously cool, meant they were hardcore homesteaders and would probably keep all their bounty.

Sho 'nuff. The guy told me what he doesn't harvest goes to his friends. And then shut the door in my face.

Little bitch.

Anywho - it's his harvest. He can stick it straight up his... I mean, whatever. I shook it off.

So I will harvest a truck load of Asian pears from the GM's neighbor and golden apples off an adjacent tree by his fence. And make tons of apple and Asian pear sauce to last through the year.

I have formulated the perfect person (or property) to forage from:
1) Abandoned property without squatters (ideal)
2) Suburban housewife who runs her own daycare and has no time for fruit. Ply her with pints of apple sauce for the kidlets.
3) Business professional who is out of town half the year and can't be bothered with his irritating non-ornamental trees.
4) You're own permaculture (beyond ideal).

Not all foraging ends with smiles and shared harvests. Sometimes it ends badly. But that's okay. I have been fortunate to find incredible awesome harvests elsewhere. As have we all!